Your Entertainment
by tanithcooper
Summary: Stripper/songfic au. It's Fili's stag do and he pulls the group to a club. Thorin and the Durin brothers aren't related, neither is legolas and Thranduil. Thranduil/Kili and mentioned Fili/Ori.


"I can't believe you're dragging me here." kili scowled, Fili's hand clenched around his wrist as he paid the doorman of the club 'Mirkwood'.

"Hey, my stag do brother dear, plus I'm paying your fair. When you finally hook up with someone, we can go to the opera or something, but until that day comes we're going here." Fili said pulling Kili towards a table near the front, Bofur, Elrohir, Elladan and Nori sliding in beside them. A waiter came over, dressed in a pair of leather trousers and a deep purple waistcoat, his long braided hair falling across his shoulder.

Fili grinned as the waiter sighed. "Hey Leggles, how you doing? As you couldn't get tonight off, I thought we'd come and see you." Fili smirked.

"I hate you. I know what you lot drink, I suppose I could get a free round for you from Taurie..." The elf sighed, shaking his head.

"Love you too Leggles. Aren't you dancing tonight?"Fili asked, tilting his head.

"After Thranduil's been on. That's a while off yet though, Thorin's on before that."

"Can't wait. What I wouldn't give for a go at Thorin Oakenshield..." Fili said dreamily.

"You're engaged to Ori, dimwit." Kili laughed, kicking Fili under the table, making him pout.

"I can dream. Anyway, Ori would look even better up on that stage..."

"Whatever lover boy. I'll go and get those drinks." Legolas smirked, miming a whip towards Fili with a "Wach-chh" as the lights went down.

-oOo-

As the lights came back up, Elladan and Elrohir wolf whistled, throwing money onto the stage for the exiting Oakenshield. "I can see now-" Elladan started.

"-What you mean." Elrohir finished, looking towards Fili as Legolas brought out the drinks.

"What's Ori doing for his stag?" Kili asked.

"He's kept it secret." Nori shrugged, watching Bofur talk to a group of girls out of the corner of his eye.

"Thranduil's on next. He is usually one of the ones that walk around on the stage and among us mere mortals." Legolas murmured into Kili's ear. "He's worth watching, even if this isn't your usual scene." The man said before walking off to entertain another large group.

The lights went down again and Kili swung his legs around, sitting side onto the chair to watch the new dancer. As the music started, the man walked onto the stage and stood, back to a pole in the middle of the stage. He was dressed in a black lycra suit with a large v neck showing his chest, chains looping across the suit artistically, looping across the suit, connecting down his body, ending up going down a leg and around an ankle. His kohl rimmed eyes looked out at the crowd lustfully, the whole outfit contrasting with the man's pale flawless skin and platinum blond hair beautifully. Then came the voice.

"So hot out the box, can we pick up the pace? Turn it up, heat it up, I need to be entertained. Push the limit, are you with it? Baby don't be afraid, I'mma hurt you real good baby." the deep baritone sung silkily, looking out at the crowd as he swang around the pole, dropping to the floor and seemed to smolder at the crowd as he stood back up. "Let's go, it's my show, baby do what I say, Don't trip off the glitz that I'm gonna display. I told ya I'mma hold ya until you're amazed, give it to ya til you're screamin' my name!" Thranduil sung, moving off of the stage, wrapping his arms around a brunette that was stood to go for a drink, singing into his ear. "No escaping when I start, once I'm in I own your heart," he sung, moving his arms to trail over the brunette's body, spinning him around to face him before gently moving him to sit back down in his seat with a smirk. "There's no way you'll ring the alarm, so hold on until it's over!"

Kili sat almost dazed by the presence of the blond that made his way around the tables, watching him rake up money that was looped into the chains and under the lycra itself. He watched in awe of the celestial being that demanded your attention wherever he was in the room, making your eyes draw to him, whatever he was doing.

"Do you know what you got into?"

Kili could have sworn those ice blue eyes were on him.

"Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?"

A small smirk on Thranduil's face as he realised Kili's eyes were fixed on him.

"'Cause it's about to get _rough_ for you."

A suggestion... No, a promise.

"I'm here for your entertainment."

A grin on the blonde as he spun around, enticing money from the men and women alike, charming them as they played into his hands.

"I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet, you thought an angel swept you off your feet, but I'm about to turn up the heat, I'm here for your entertainment." he sung, pressing himself up against a woman, eyes fixed on Kili as she slotted a twenty into the neck of his suit, prompting him to run his hands down the woman's sides, slotting his leg between hers as his hands roamed her body before moving onto the next table. "'S all right, you'll be fine, baby I'm in control. Take the pain, take the pleasure I'm the master of both." he sung, subtly maneuvering the paying customers so he could look upon the brunette with the deep eyes that had not torn away since the moment he walked into view... Until the man did, shaking his head, trying to take the dancer from his mind.

"Close your eyes, not your mind."

_He's coming over here... What do I do? I have nothing... Oh gods..._

"Let me into your soul."

He was there alright.

Thranduil had pulled Kili up to standing, using him as a substitute for the pole on the stage before pulling him flush against his chest, licking a stripe up the brunette's neck as Kili tucked a tenner into the elf's shirt.

"I'm gonna work it 'til you're totally blown."

Thranduil had been given more than that and had done less for it but he had to make an impression... He linked his arms around Kili's neck, running he hands over the front of his body.

"No escaping when I start, once I'm in I own your heart, there's no way you'll ring the alarm."

He definitely had gripped Kili's heart and was pulling the strings quite easily, singing the next line directly into his ear.

"So hold on 'til it's over!"

Thranduil murmured before moving to ravage the twins.

Fili watched with a smirk as Kili sunk back into his chair, the brunette sitting limply in the chair as he watched the elf dance around the tables before he climbed back onto the stage. He used the area to entice and enthral the audience, removing the top half of his costume so that his chest was bare.

"Oh! Do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I am about to do? 'Cause it's about to get rough for you, I'm here for your entertainment, Oh! I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet, you thought an angel swept you off your feet, but I'm about to turn up the heat, I'm here for your entertainment!" he sung before walking to the front of the stage, running his hands down his body.

"Do you like what you see?"

The blonde looked straight at Kili.

"Let me entertain ya 'til you scream!"

Then the man was off again, making the crowd throw money onto the stage, Thranduil picking up the pace and raising the temperature in the room by a good few centigrade as he tempted and entranced the audience. He climbed up the pole and pulled off a range of stunts, ranging from holding onto the pole and holding himself out at a ninety degree angle from the pole to swinging around it, holding on with only his legs.

"Oh! Do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I am about to do? 'Cause it's about to get rough for you, I'm here for your entertainment, Oh! I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet, you thought an angel swept you off your feet, but I'm about to turn up the heat, I'm here for your entertainment!"

Then the song was over, Thranduil's end position of legs apart and arms wrapped around the pole high above his head. The man left the stage, throwing a heated look to the audience, to Kili, before disappearing.

-oOo-

Legolas finished his piece to catcalls and money strewn across the floor, the devil costume leaving hardly anything to the imagination, the blonde flicking his pointed tail with a smirk as he left. After a while, Kili and fili were the only ones left, the stag party dispersed into different areas.

"So, what did you think of Legolas?" Fili asked with a smirk, only getting a hum in reply. "What about Thranduil?" he asked, Kili grinning subtly.

"He's alright I guess." Kili shrugged, expression betraying him.

"Oh he's soo handsome." Fili mocked, Kili reddening. "Don't try and deny it, little brother, you _lik__e_ him."

"Who do you like?" A voice drifted across the table. Kili looked up to see Legolas in his leather trousers again. "Perhaps you would like to meet them?"

"No, I couldn't- Argh!"

"Lead the way, Leggles!" Fili grinned, having pulled his brother off of his chair.

-oOo-

"Here we go. Happy wedding and what not." Legolas said, leading Kili and Fili backstage. Thranduil sat at the table, looking down and counting how much he had made as he smoked a joint. "Thranduil, we have company." Thorin said, watching as Legolas walked the two over.

"Oh, it's the cutie from the show. Thranduil, by the way." Thranduil said airily, smirking at Kili. "Would you like your tenner back? I did that one for free."

"No, it's fine. Keep it, please." Kili said, raising an eyebrow amusedly at the dancer as he got up to wrap an arm around the brunette's shoulders, his outfit now of a loose guns 'n' roses shirt and black skinny jeans.

"Well then. Let me go buy you a drink some time."

"Wait, are you asking me out?"

"And?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I don't think I'd be any good though." Kili shrugged.

"Who says you have to be good? I'm here for your entertainment." Thranduil chuckled before walking off to the dressing rooms with his cash in a bag, a tenner tucked into Kili's shirt innocently with a long number written across the top.


End file.
